


see you

by Sir_Mantra



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 12:46:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16744252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sir_Mantra/pseuds/Sir_Mantra
Summary: It's already too late to ask about our love.





	see you

**Author's Note:**

> nothing special, just inspired by 'mabel' (balloon).

“Morning.”

Armin looked up, surprised. _Eren’s… talking? Is he ok?_

Eren, without a moment’s notice, nonchalantly walked over to the table that Armin sat before. He took a seat opposite Armin. His face remained blank whilst his eyes focused on the newspaper in front of him.

“Oh…” Armin mumbled. He fidgeted in his seat a little. “Um, hi…”

Eren remained still; his gaze focused on the newspaper. Armin had expected that.

With a quiet, sad sigh, Armin took a sip from his coffee and tried to read his book. He couldn’t quite remember the last time Eren and him had really spoken. There were those occasional acknowledgements in passing — and, if Armin was lucky, a half-assed question about the world’s current state of affairs — but other than that, the two rarely spoke anymore.

_It’s just something that changed after getting hurt, right?_ Armin sighed once more. How had it come to this again? One moment they were so close — with dreams of splashing in the ocean together their weapon in defeating the titans. And yet, as the clock’s ticking hand dissolved slowly under the weight of this dooming world, their relationship drifted apart. The red string that once tied the two so tightly together had frayed and was on the verge of being forever torn.

_At this point, why haven’t we given up?_ Armin raised his book to hide his sad expression. He worried at his bottom lip. _How many times has this happened? These silent moments, those quick glimpses at each other when we think the other isn’t looking… I wonder, why don’t we talk about this?_

Armin briefly looked up from his book to look at Eren. Eren sipped at his coffee whilst he flicked the page over. A forlorn feeling crept at the bottom of Armin’s stomach. Since when had Eren liked coffee? That drink was awfully too bitter and hot for the guy who insisted on extra sugar in his room temperature ‘hot’ chocolate.

_This feeling is so empty. I can almost touch it. It’ll stay, won’t it._

“I… don’t hate you.”

Armin looked up in bewilderment. Eren was talking _again_? To claim he didn’t ‘hate’ him, but to shake whilst he said those words? Those words were definitely an accident.

Eren was a stubborn boy— _man_ , Armin corrected, as he looked up at the older, more rugged guy before him (and he thought to himself, with much guilt and regret, that it was _unfair_ his childhood friend looked so handsome, and he had no right to age so beautifully whilst developing into a dangerous enigma — and, in some twisted, cruel way, that made him even more beautiful). His ideals were always ‘right’. Almost nothing could pierce through his thick, adamant head.

Nothing but the ocean, in a simpler time. But now Eren no longer cared for their dream.

_He’s too focused on doing things alone. Or, rather, not wanting our help. He willingly killed hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians and children without blinking an eye. He laughed when Sasha died. And now he is to wait whilst the higher ups decide on what punishment to grant him, one for completely ignoring the mission and doing what he wanted._

_…I don’t understand him anymore._

“I just wish you understood where I’m coming from,” Eren said, now looking up at Armin. His green eyes had always been so full of life — so vivid, so _passionate_ — but they were fated to drown in anger and hatred.

Those same eyes had once looked at Armin in a different way. They used to be so warm and caring. Now, a particularly scary look was shot his way. Armin’s heart ached.

“Eren,” he began, voice low, “you’re not always right.”

Eren continued to stare. Armin’s heart beat quickly. His nerves were on fire.

A moment passed, two, and then — “I’m doing what’s best for us," Eren said. "Can’t you see that?”

Armin looked down at his book, unfocused. His expression was downcast. _'Us'?_ _Those words you just said… there is no meaning to them._

“What…” Armin hesitated, a small lump in his throat. His eyes grew teary, but he pushed his tears back. Eren had changed, and so should Armin, too. “…What are we?”

Eren held his head back, seemingly contemplating for a moment. His expression, however, remained unchanging. “…It’s too late, isn’t it?”

_To save us_ , Armin involuntarily completed Eren's sentence. He lowered his head in acceptance. A stray tear rolled down his cheek. 

_Using vague words… Is it because you’re scared of lying? We don't want to acknowledge what's going on, and yet it's so obvious it hurts. Should I pretend I didn't hear anything? Only awkward thoughts remain, and I... I'm too weak to say them out loud. I'm too weak to say that I love you, Eren._

Eren finished his coffee, and stood up from his seat. He made no eye contact with Armin.

_“I’m sorry. I don’t have time to talk about our dream right now."_

_“We need to defeat all these enemies! Only then can we really be free… and then we can be happy together.”_

_“I’m sorry, Armin, but there are some things best done alone. I truly… care for you.”_

_“…Huh? You still go on about that?”_

“See you,” he said, and Armin noticed the way he dropped the ‘later’, but he figured it was fitting, in a way, because there would be no ‘later’ for them, nor would there be a future, too, and wasn’t it funny how the oceans they used to dream of was the thing that drowned their love?

Armin wiped his eyes with the sleeve of the jacket, and he took a deep breath.

_See you, Eren._


End file.
